Sounds like a very rough ride, Joshua.
I’m 69 and was just diagnosed about 3 months ago. The diagnosis was a revelation, suddenly my life made sense.
I would say your mental health providers were not very diligent, though. The fast diagnosis and the rush of the meds and no mention of talk therapy or training in coping skills (pills are not skills) makes me wonder if you weren't just a cash cow for some clinic.
I’m on a low dose Ritalin and sometimes forget to take a dose. But, most of my life I figured that I was just crazy or something due to failed relationships, financial problems, and dozens of jobs. Yeah, I had made up coping mechanisms, some good and some bad, which was okay till I had a serious breakdown a dozen years ago. Panic attacks, anxiety, and depression took over my life (all comorbidities of ADHD) and then it took a long time and drugs and therapy to get to the right reason. Anyway, I’m making progress now in putting my life back together.
You’re right that we are all different and have to advocate for ourselves and not become our problems.
Good luck to you and be well.