Yay, Caffeine! It’s probably the thing that held me together for most of my life.
The “mental health” system in the US is less than great (by a lot) and I can say that I’ve had some luck. I have medicare and found a clinic nearby that had a sliding income scale.
I only became aware of what ADD/ADHD is a few months age, when I searched some of the symptoms that weren’t covered under the anxiety/depression that I’ve dealt with for the last 12 years.
Anyway, in your situation I would try to find a professional who understands or is willing to understand the symptoms and treatments for ADHD and the possible comorbidities. I suggest that you might also do some more research.
Knowledge is power.
I am currently using a low dose med, exercise, lots of water, and journaling to keep some control. (as I said I’m new to this.)
I wish you and your wife the very best.